When I was growing up, Mr Squiggle was one of my favourite television shows. Every day, Mr Squiggle would fly down from the moon in his rocketship to find Miss Jane and Blackboard ready for another day's drawing. It was always so tempting to turn your head upside-down to work out what he was drawing, but no, that would be cheating.

I can't help but wonder if Mr Squiggle is alone out there in space. The Americans weren't alone in their space race; they had the Russians. Perhaps Mr Squiggle has a Russian counterpart. Perhaps, somewhere out there, there is a Comrade Squiggle, his television show cancelled due to a lack of funding and substandard computer wiring in his Soyuz module. Comrade Squeeggle, da man frrrom da moooon….

Lately, my cats have spent quite some time sitting in the window and watching the horses trot past. This might seem an odd thing to see in a suburban area, but it's becoming quite a common sight in my neighbourhood.

You see, the local police have taken to riding horseback through the streets and parks. Apparently it helps form a better relationship with the community. Or something like that. I'm not sure my cats ever had a bad relationship with the police, but they definitely seem to paying more attention to what the police are doing. Perhaps they're selling black market weapons or drugs while I'm at the office. I'll have to have a talk to them about it later.

The one thing I've been really wondering about was if the officers have to carry about a giant pooper-scooper to clean up after the horses. While I'm not sure what they'd do with it after picking it up, I expected that they would have similar rules to dog owners. This morning I discovered that they obviously do not, and that it would have required a really, really big pooper-scooper. Oh well; at least the lawn is getting fertilised.

Well this certainly beats cheese-stuffed crust. You'd have to be really careful not to burn your nose while snorting it, though.

I'd be worried if I were one of the guys that ran the pizza place. After sinning like that, they're going to get really sick.

Since no one knows where Bin Laden is hiding, America's Most Wanted has thoughfully provided us with some composites of what Osama might look like in disguise. This seems to imply that he might be on American soil as you read this. Perhaps he's even here in Australia, masquerading as an Aborigine and recruiting koalas for his evil plans.

I can't help but notice that his nose changes size and shape in some of the different images. He's obviously a lot smarter and more devious than we thought.

Managers, do you understand your hacker? Does he wear funny clothes and speak in a language you don't recognise? Does he count from zero? This FAQ should help you understand your hacker.

If you're a hacker having trouble understanding management, give up. It's not going to happen. Those stuffy people in suits are weird. You could try reading the Manager FAQ, but don't get your hopes up.

Get your digital data porn here. As per the warning on the page, “you must be a complete 100% computer-nerd to gain entry to this site”. Do check out the members' bizarre fetish section at the bottom left.

Not your sort of thing? Perhaps you're more into the ever-so-subtle “Am I Hot Or Not” style site. If you get that one, you're well on your way to being an official geek. Welcome to the club