Okay, so you're pretty cool. No… wait… you're the coolest. You need the world to know just how cool you are. How unique. How distinctive. How… wait… you can't afford a car to kit out?
That's okay, you can just kit out your bike with that “down low glow”. Hook up a pumpin' deck, add a rear spoiler and an intake for your… er… engine, and you'll be the envy of everyone on your block. Or something.
Here's a tip for all those mass-marketing companies out there: if I can't understand what you're saying, I'm not likely to want to listen to what you have to say, much less want to actually give you money. If you call me on a really low quality, broken line and I only hear every fourth syllable or so, I have no idea what you're saying. If you have to repeat yourself (in a really strong accent) several times before we even get past the “hello” part, it's not going to work.
You would think that this would be most apparent to being selling phone services. What more would convince you to purchase a dodgy mobile from some unnamed group marketing out of India than a really low quality, crackly phone line?
I want SpamAssassin for my phone.
In the never ending game of “my case-mod is sillier than your case-mod”, we have a new winner: the PC EZ-Bake Oven. Simply slot it into a 5-1/4″ drive bay and start cooking. To make it truely geeky, it even comes with open source oven controller software. Apparently it uses fuzzy logic, which I believe is the sort of logic you get after several strong drinks. This computer stuff is high-tech, people!
With delights such as “Duck Sauce Packet Tart”, “Non-Dairy Creamer Creme Brulee”, and “Vending Machine Casserole”, how can you possibly go wrong?
Okay, I'm definitely back into the swing of not updating this website by choice, rather than lack of access to the Interwebberynetwork. I've been spending too much time watching the Olympics. I have not, however, been spending any time watching their weird looking website.
Oh dear, by not using the term “ATHENS 2004 only” and by not sending them a letter, I think I just violated their stupid Hyperlink Policy. Wait — there I go violating it again. Do I have to send two letters if I link to it twice? Hmm… reason for linking: mocking your stupid policies. Welcome to the party, pal.
Here's a “Hyperlink Policy” for you: have somewhat consistent and readable URLs. Sure, I'm not exactly leading the pack with this website's architecture, but at least I don't link to documents by whacking 40 characters of semi-random crud on the end of them. No, that's not a session ID. That's their “help” page.
Forgive me Interwebberynet, for I have sinned. It has been nearly two months since my last blog post.
The few of you still checking this website (I think my cats check in once in a while) might be wondering where I've been. If not, I'm going to just tell you anyway. I'm like that; it's usually quite hard to get me to shut up.
I've been buying a house. Yes, I've been swimming in paperwork and reminding myself that my signature really is quite boring. I've been packing my possessions into boxes, hefting them about, and then unpacking them again. I've been running about in a completely new house, not remembering where the light switches are, or which ones turn on which lights. I've been going through withdrawal symptoms without ADSL at home.
At first, I thought that traipsing through other people's horribly overpriced and crumbling houses was bad. How wrong I was. Paperwork and banks and legal processes and dealing with people who lie through their teeth makes me feel like some little guy jumping and running about for other people's amusement.
And then, as if paperwork alone wasn't enough to convince you that you're never, ever going to want to move house again, comes the actual moving. Most people would organise themselves well in advance. I prefer to leave it until 1am the night before the truck arrives and then go into a complete panic.
So this means that I've had very little time to get a real design together for this site or work on the new gizmos I'm toying with. I haven't even been updating Romilly's site with new photos. And you thought I couldn't get any more slack. How wrong you were.
Paperwork and boxes and slackness aside, I'm now back online and completely ready to ignore this website for another month or two. Or update it more regularly. I'm always mixing those two up.