I’m sitting here, Romilly asleep on the couch behind me, and I have a serious problem.
It’s not the sort of thing I’d normally discuss on my website, but I think it’s important that I come clean. It’s an issue that may very well change the way you think about me.
Romilly prefers the early Beatles songs, I prefer the later ones.
What’s a guy to do?
It has come to my attention that I need to make something clear: despite what you might read, my life is not a melancholy trek, spiralling into a dark and bottomless void.
This website is not what I originally intended it to be. Four years ago, I thought it would be fun to try out this “blogging” thing. I posted silly comments and links. I inflicted my opinions on the world, right or wrong. Then, one day, I realised that all of this was just another form of writing. I loosened up and just wrote.
The thing is, my best and most creative periods of writing have always been when I am experiencing “negative” emotions. When I am angry or sad or depressed or confused, I can either choose to be creative or choose to be destructive, and my destructive days are long behind me. So I have found myself writing here more and more as I sort out my life and discover that there are large parts of myself that I’ve not tended to over the last few years.
This is all good, except that when I resolve these issues, I’m calm and happy and content and understanding life. These are not my creative moments, and so I do not write about them. I don’t feel I need to, at least not for myself.
So here is my promise to you, dear reader: I know I can create when I’m happy, so I shall endeavour to put more of my happier thoughts and creations here. Perhaps I’ll even write about the odd answer I find along the way.
I often forget that I’ve been posting my thoughts and words here. I know that sounds silly, but I just do it. Sometimes a friend will mention something I’ve written, but usually no one draws attention to the fact that they read it at all.
And then I meet new people (with that fresh, straight-from-the-factory, new people smell) and they read the entire thing.
Do you realise how odd that is? I barely know someone’s name, and they know half of my thoughts, opinions and habits. They probably even know the whale blubber joke.
This blogging thing is more complex than it first appears.
Sometimes, just sometimes, letting yourself go and running with your emotions is one of the most wonderful things in the world. When you get it right, and you’re in that perfect place, it’s magic. Your soul is free to fly, lifted up on the winds, and the view is amazing.
Other times, you leave yourself wide open to get kicked in the heart.
Talk amongst yourselves, people. I may be a while.
Wow… Cellblock Squadrons just beat all the other indie first person space shooters and won Game Tunnel’s 2005 FPSS of the Year!
Good job guys. Now that you’re going to be filthy rich, can you loan your big brother a twenty? Just until the weekend.