Review: Beowulf 3D

Last night Carolyn and I were child free. This is a fairly rare event, so we decided to go see a movie with the free tickets we had. We planned everything nicely, and went out to see Beowulf in 3D. At least, that was the original intent of the evening.

Traffic was terrible as I left work, and the 30-40 minute drive took about an hour and a half. This of course meant some bad news: we were too late to have dinner before the movie. Watching a movie on a critically empty stomach can make it a less than enjoyable experience, but this didn’t turn out to be the case. Because we didn’t see the movie. At all.

Hoyts, in their infinite wisdom, have decided that because Beowulf is a “special 3D movie”, it will cost $2 extra per ticket. This means that they won’t take “movie cash” or “free tickets” of any kind. Not even with an additional $2 in cash. Apparently it’s all just far too hard for them. Math is difficult, and we have to remember that if these people were good at math, they probably wouldn’t be employed sweeping up stale popcorn and plucking gum from under seats. It was a hopeless cause.

Given the current state of our Christmas-induced over-spending, we decided to skip the movie, grab a pizza, and watch a DVD at home. This was an excellent plan. Until we found that the pizza place we like was closed for Christmas. And we remembered that our DVD player is broken. Two and a half hours after leaving work, we’re standing in the rain, hungry and with no plans.

The evening ended up being a random drive to find a new pizza place, a wander through the nearby IGA supermarket while we waited (how romantic), and then an evening of pizza gobbling while watching TV at home until we fell asleep.

So, in summary, Beowulf 3D is possibly a great movie. Or not. At least the new pizza place was good.

I’m going to give Beowulf 3D: nullity / 5 stars