We're not sure what secret research is being performed at Area 51, but we do know they're overworking their guards. They're working overtime on their overtime and not getting paid enough for keeping all that… whatever it is safe.

I mean, how would you like to spend day after day defending the Earth from the scum of the universe, and only get paid US$15.05 per hour for it? I'll bet the alien invaders get a better wage than that. And health benefits too. That UFO-flying union is pretty well organised, let me tell you.