A German man was recently killed by his pet spider and consumed by his collection of pet spiders, lizards and snakes:

A police spokesman said: “It was like a horror movie. His corpse was over the sofa.

“Giant webs draped him, spiders were all over him. They were coming out of his nose and his mouth.

“There was everything there one could imagine in the world of reptiles.

“Larger pieces of flesh torn off by the lizards were scooped up and taken back to the webs of tarantulas and other bird-eating spiders.”

People sometimes say that I'm weird for having three cats, but at least they won't kill and devour me. So long as I feed them on time, that is; otherwise, all bets are off.