I don’t watch a lot of television. It just doesn’t interest me, and almost every series ends up repeating itself. The characters get stuck going around in circles, and the five or six basic plotlines soon wear themselves thin.

CSI was a good example of this. At first, it seemed quite novel. After a while, however, the characters stagnated and the basic concept of “dude dies, CG camera flies about through moody, unrealistic lighting, and then the suspect admits to his crimes in the most unrealistically stylish police lab every imagined” got a bit boring.

When CSI: Miami came along, I thought it might be fresh and new. Now, this is the part where you expect me to say that no, it wasn’t. Really, I have no idea. None. Nadda. Why? Because I couldn’t make myself watch it. Then main character was so amazingly annoying to watch that I couldn’t concentrate on the plot (or lack thereof).

Until today, I didn’t know why. Sure, he was pompous and arrogant, but that alone isn’t enough to make me dislike someone (though it does go a long way). No, the reason seems to be David Caruso’s head. Seriously, there is something wrong with it — take a look:

Not only does it appear permanently dislocated, but it is also quite the wrong size. It appears to be photoshopped on. In MSPaint. Badly. How can I possibly be expected to enjoy a television show with that on my screen?

And so, in conclusion, David Caruso’s wonky head is the reason that I don’t watch much television.