Hey, you. Yeah, you. The one reading over there. You’re still here? Let me dust off a chair so you can sit down.

Have you noticed that I haven’t been around much recently? Of course you have; you’re smart. Well I can’t really apologise and tell you how busy I’ve been, because I haven’t been all that busy. I took a nice holiday over Christmas, but didn’t go anywhere. I painted Romilly’s new bedroom (pink!), finishing at 4am on Christmas Eve. I then spent the next week recovering and promising myself never to leave anything to the last minute ever again. Other than that, I have found myself enjoying family time, playing computer games, and slowly organising things for the arrival of The Penguin. For example, this afternoon was spent convincing Carolyn that a $4000 pram is not a viable option, even if you can get it on special for $200 less.

I’m actually only writing all of this as Carolyn insisted that I thank my ex-wife for pointing out that the PenguinCount® on the website here was stuck at 101 days. Carolyn really didn’t like the idea of being perpetually pregnant. The idea of a baby making its way out through your nether regions is apparently bad enough, let alone giving it additional time to grow.

Carolyn has, in fact, decided that The Penguin is going to emerge no larger than a peanut. Not liking the idea of a peanut-sized baby, it was decided that said peanut would immediately turn into a proper baby after making its easy exit. Now I can only imagine the birthing process as passing a small Poké Ball, with the midwife then screaming something along the lines of “Penguimon, I choose you!”

It is this incredibly realistic view of birth that is probably going to backfire on us at some point in the future, most probably during “news time” at school.